Anne. D - Art & Self-Expression -

"Do as I say not as I do."

"We teach best what we need to learn most."

"Let's call a spade a spade."

That being said and clear, below are some "existential" thoughts that sometimes cross my mind. Not necessarily ground-breaking, they are simply explorations in the moment. I am aware that words cannot describe the truth, but they do trigger reflection and make us see yet another facet of existence. That's why I like them so much, whether it is a story for children, a novel, or a philosophical essay. Sometimes, there's actually not that much difference between all of them, except that one may be more palatable than the other at certain times.

If using certain words give us a good feeling inside, let's keep on using them. But if they don't, perhaps it's time to come up with new ones.

Here is an example: Under "About Anne" instead of "My Passion" I was going to write "My Mission" as is often customary to do, until I realized that the word "mission" describes one of these "loaded" concepts that I find obsolete. It is enlightening to look at the definition of this word in the dictionary...

Everything fashion adopts it also renders obsolete shortly thereafter. Even words.

If there was no notion of good and bad, would we still be talking about 'Being of Service'?

If 'Being of Service' is the easiest, most natural, joyful, and highest thing we can do with our life, then why are we talking about it with these words? And if it is not, then why would we want to "Be of Service"? Yet, since so many talk about it, there must be a reason. What is the reason? How is this concept helping us? And how is it limiting us?

Children need to leave home some time so parents can grow up.

Not all of us have been parents, but all of us have been children. Only parents pretend that they don't remember it. Or perhaps they think that they need to forget about it.

Some people wish that I would change. Then they tell me that I should change. Shortly after, they ask me why I still haven't changed. But once I truly change, they may tell me that they liked it better before. This is a risk I am willing to take.

If change is the only permanent thing, then this must be true even when I am feeling stuck.

The following may feel a bit "déjà vu", but somehow, they are resonating with me at this time:

Whether overt or covert, conscious or unconscious, manipulation leads to co-dependency and its consequences. It seems to be true no matter what the degree, the reason, and the area in which it is exercised. Religion and some forms of "spirituality" are a good example of this.

All AA's know that co-dependency is a form of addiction. So in other words, whichever side of manipulation we are on: it is an addiction.

This addiction is based on the illusion that: "When they do it the way I want, I'll be happy". Or "If I do it the way they want, they'll be happy, and then I'll be happy".

This knowledge does not induce that I should withhold my truth. But instead, it means that I can speak my truth simply and directly, with no intention to manipulate others hopping that they will change.

Lying is manipulation. Not only towards another. When I don't speak and live my truth, I am manipulating myself. The most obvious form of this is denial. Is it then any wonder that I have such a hard time letting go of my addictions? Or should I deny and pretend I don't have addictions?

Addiction is not a word that makes me feel good inside, but not using it when appropriate would be another form of denial. Instead, I prefer to name it but dedramatize the concept.

What would be another word, or phrase, or concept I could use to replace 'addiction'? A certain behavior that I keep on repeating even though I know now that it creates undesirable consequences in the short or long term. A kind of 'obsessive folly'...

I am not entirely sure that I know what maturity is, but I am pretty sure I know what it is not.

I believe that oppression is one of the greatest forces behind immature behavior - countries and teenagers are the greatest example of this. To a lesser degree, sooner or later, pressure will also engenders some form of irresponsibility. Even if it is self-imposed, which it is ultimately.

I am all for focusing on the positive, but not at the expanse of repressing emotions and denying facts. Denial is not a four letter word, but it ends up being damaging to us. Feelings are the source of our manifestations, even more than thoughts, whether we are conscious of them or not.

I'd rather be disliked for speaking and living my truth than liked because they think I am 'nice'. And yet, I am still afraid of it. At times, I am still looking for approval in the "wrong" places, outside of myself.

See this post on my blog...

"By selfishly loving yourself, by selfishly following your joy, you will help ALL, more than anything else you could do."

Story Waters

Comments and ideas are welcomed! You may do so via my blog.

Anne.D